Reflections of Beginning Leadership
Recently, I’ve been reflecting more and more about my experiences in leadership and coaching leaders. I have made some big mistakes along the way. There are so many instances that I can think of that I regret but there are also things that I am proud of.
When I was in Army Basic training, we took turns being the squad leader and although I don’t remember the exact thing that a person said but it was along the lines of “You can either lead by respect or by fear.” I’m sure if I looked this up I might be able to find the context around this. For me, the quote struck me…..so much of leadership in the beginning was trying to make sure that people respected me and I was going about this with threats and authoritativeness and it’s completely ineffective.
The folks who work for you, might do what you say but they don’t respect you. They will work around your rigid rules and go around you. Eventually, if you are lucky and self reflective you might learn that it’s not about telling people what to do but instead working with people to decide the best course of action. This to me, seems like the secret sauce, but believe it or not, there are a lot of people who don’t want to be included in the decision making process. With that being said, it is apparent that balance is key, but you don’t learn that from any class or any book. You have to try and fail and then try again. I think what is important in that process is that you acknowledge when you realize you are wrong and you actually make the change. We can sometimes live in our fear of not being taken seriously iff we change our minds, but we are working with humans and to continue doing things that don’t work is demoralizing.
If I were to redo some of my beginning leadership journey, I would look at the concepts presented in the book by Brene Brown “Dare to Lead”. Because the work that you do as a leader is so important but it’s also emotional and taxing. You have to be able to self reflect and take feedback but you also have to be confident in your abilities.
Regardless, you can do this….but if you can’t do it with love then don’t move into leadership.